Ready Is a Feeling, Not a Choice

Bobbi Brinkman [00:00:00]:
Hey friends, how often have you stopped saying yes to an opportunity because you didn't feel ready? Maybe you thought you needed more experience, more credentials, or you thought, oh, I need more time to prepare. If I just had more time, I think I'd be ready. I think I'll be ready. What if I told you that being ready isn't a choice? It's a feeling. And feelings aren't always facts, my friends. So today, I want to talk a little about stopping yourself from taking yourself out of opportunities because you didn't feel ready. And I want you to start believing and stepping into your confidence that you can do so much more. Now, I could talk a bit about living up to your potential here, but I believe we are living our potential.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:00:58]:
I believe that we are doing what we think we're doing. And when I say, can we do it better? I don't mean that to be; you need to do more. I think we all, many of us, especially now as I've been, you know, doing a little bit more coaching, and I'm having some of my coaching clients say to me that they don't feel they're living up to their potential. And when I ask them, what is your potential? And they don't have an answer. So, let's talk a bit about how being ready is a feeling, not a choice. So, if you're feeling not up to your potential, is it because you're not ready? Ready is a feeling, not a choice. So, are you choosing not to do certain things because you're telling yourself you're not ready? I know that we fall into that trap of other people telling us we're not ready, other people saying we shouldn't be doing something, other people, other people, other people, other people. What about you? That negative voice in your head tells you, nope, that person said so.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:02:01]:
Nope, I can't do that. All the reasons why you're not ready to go do something. So, let's talk a little bit about the myth of readiness. The false belief of readiness. How about that? Most people believe they need to feel completely confident or prepared before taking a big step. Heck, friends, how many of you, if I ask you today, right now, how many of you feel completely confident on a scale of 1 to 10? How many of you would probably say 5? Not just in a project or raising a family or knowing how, if you're driving, confident that you know where you're going the quickest, the fastest, and the safest way, but just general confidence. If you're honest with yourself, how many people would give you anything above a 5? I know many people would give themselves below a 5. So, how do you instill confidence? How do you take any step if you're not confident? So, how do you feel confident to say yes to a big step? This belief stems from fear of failure.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:03:09]:
It stems from wanting to be perfect and comparison. I want you to think that when you get stuck in this mindset, I'm not ready. When is ready ever going to come? I want you to shift your mindset. There is no perfect perfect, right? There is no perfect progress over perfection. You hear me talk about that a lot here. If you're new here, those are things you'll hear, right? If you're new here, by the way, welcome. I appreciate sharing space with you. And if you've been here with me before, thank you for being with me.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:03:45]:
But let's talk about how we want to make progress toward perfection. So, I want you to reframe righting this and how you approach it for any business decision. I believe that if you make a big business decision, there is something that goes with your life. And if you make a big life decision, something will affect your business. Right? Rightness isn't something that you feel before starting. It's something that you gain while you're doing. Let me say that to you again.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:04:17]:
Readiness isn't something you feel before starting; it's something you gain while doing. I'm going to share a case study with you today. Many of you have been telling me you enjoy the case study, so I will try to bring them in most episodes while I have them. Now, it's no secret that I'm a fan and staunch supporter of women's sports, and I'm honored to work with several female athletes at different stages of their careers. So today, I wanna share a little about Katie, a standout college basketball player who has dreamed of playing professionally. Now Katie had an incredible basketball record. She led her team to multiple championships and earned accolades for her skill and leadership, both in high school and even before high school, high school, and through college.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:05:03]:
But when it came time to make the decision to move up to the next level, the pros, she hesitated. She thought to herself and said to many of us, well, I'm not ready. The pros are on an entirely different level. I'm not ready. I won't measure up. I won't find success there. What happens if I say yes to going, fall flat on my face, and fail? Everything I worked for will be a failure. Everything I did before will be for naught because I couldn't take those lessons and move them into the pros.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:05:39]:
That's a lot to unpack, my friends. That's a lot to unpack. But that's how sometimes people feel when they're stuck. They don't realize they have some choices, and they have the opportunity to move forward if they do not worry so much about being ready, perfect, and being compared to others. Her fear of not being ready almost held her back from declaring that she wanted to go pro. So, after conversations with many of her trusted high school and college coaches, Katie decided to take the leap. Her coaches reminded her that the skills that you need to grow at the pro level will only develop once you're there. You hear me say this often.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:06:24]:
You hear me; you heard me say that earlier. It's not what you're doing now and what you know how to do but what you'll learn when you put those skills and those talents into play. When you challenge what you already know, you get to see that I know how to do this. You get to see another level of yourself when you try to move to the next level. So are you ready? If you sit all the time back and never take the opportunity to try something different, to move forward, to try a new career, to add a new product, to totally shift and shake up your life, how will you ever be ready? If you don't believe you're ready and stuck because you don't know what to do, how will you get ready? When will that perfect time come? Right? I'll insert one of the tips I shared as part of my consulting with her. And I do regardless of your needs or your career, you can't grow and improve upon your skills by staying where you are. You must keep learning and moving forward, whether you feel ready. Again, ready is a feeling, not a choice.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:07:36]:
Now, that's just my humble opinion, friends. It's my podcast, my humble opinion, right? But I share this from the stage when I'm speaking quite often. You can't keep learning and moving forward if you're not ready. And, if you are thriving where you are right now, celebrate that. Find joy and purpose and everything in that. You've succeeded, yay, applause, standing ovation. Do you want to go to the next level? If you're happy where you are, have time and freedom, pay your bills, do good in commuting, and give back, my goodness gracious, good for you. That's what we all strive for.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:08:16]:
That's what we all want to do. But if you want to do a little more or push yourself a little more, let's face it, that entrepreneurial spirit is all about what's next, what's next, right? And I think that is a lot for athletes, too.  They achieve all these awards and goals and don't know what to do. And for many, there's no pro sport to go to here in the United States. We'll talk about that with Katie in a few moments. There's not a next level to go to for many of those sports. So, Remember, I want you to keep that, and I want you to hone in on that. You have to keep learning and moving forward whether you feel ready or not because you can't grow and improve your skills and talents unless you do that.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:08:56]:
So Katie decided to go pro and was selected by a European team. When she arrived at her first training camp, she quickly realized that she wasn't the most polished player but wasn't expected to be. Those coaches knew where she was coming from. They knew her level of playing. They knew the game she played. They knew all about her awards. That's why they chose her, right? She wasn't expected to be everything she was now on this team. Instead, they wanted her foundation and her skill sets, and they wanted to grow upon that with her.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:09:37]:
They needed what she knew how to do, mixed with the other players they selected, and a new recipe for a winning championship season. She learned to lean on the feedback. She learned to grow from the feedback. And guess what? By her 2nd season, she was a key contributor to team success and earned a spot on the European All-Star team. Katie's decision to take imperfect action, declaring for the pros before she felt ready, allowed her to grow into the player she aspired to be. She realized that readiness was a feeling that could have held her back from choosing to move to the next level. She doubted herself being ready before stepping on the opportunity to continue with her love of basketball and achieving what will hopefully be her next goal of playing in the WNBA one day. Ultimately, that's what she wants to do.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:10:33]:
But until then, there was another level she could go to. If she had never taken those steps to play at that level, what do you think the odds are that she would have been confident to go to the WNBA? She needed to continue to hone and grow her skills, even though she felt she wasn't ready. So, my fabulous listeners, I'm using Katie's story to remind you that growth happens when you say yes to opportunities before you feel ready. She might still be sitting on the sidelines if she had waited for that perfect moment. By taking the leap, she not only proved her potential, but she also expanded on it. And that is what each one of you can do. Get off the sidelines, make the moves you want to make, make the big plays. If you fall, you skin up your knees, you're going to get back up.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:11:24]:
You're going to learn that running fast on the left might not be my strength, but if I run really fast on the right, I'm going to choose and, right? It is not this or that, but finding a way to learn from your failures and successes and having failures and successes together will help you find your next milestone and what you want to do. Why you're never really ready. Biology of fear. How fear and self-doubt trick the brain into believing that you're unprepared. Mindset. Remember, we talk about mindset here. Fear and self-doubt are powerful emotions. And while they can serve as natural responses to uncertainty, they often work against us.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:12:08]:
And here's what's happening when your brain, here's what your brain is trying to tell you when these feelings take over. See, your brain's job is to keep you safe. So, your brain is wired for survival, not growth. When faced with a new challenge or opportunity, your brain will interpret, oh my gosh, this isn't, what is this? What are you thinking? What were you find potential here? I'm gonna tell you you can't do it. And fear activates that part of your brain that is responsible for fighting for it to want to fight for it. This triggers the thought in your head: okay, I'm not ready. What if I fail? I hear you. And you're listening to that brain that's given you all the things that tell you can't, that you shouldn't, that you're not ready.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:12:59]:
But your brain, the biology of the brain, is wired to keep you safe and wants to keep you comfortable and in that safe place. And by now, we all know that growth happens outside of your comfort zone. That negative bias will amplify your self-doubt. The more noise you have in your brain about the things you can't do, the more it will continue to fuel your self-doubt. I want you to be your biggest fan. I want you to be the hero of your story. Your clients are the hero of the story that you're creating for them. Your clients are the heroes, and making them the heroes will show just how good you are at what you do.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:13:43]:
You bring your skill set to life. They hire you for what you know how to do, that you're an expert in, not perfect in, but you're an expert in. And when you do those and mix it with other people, you're going to have an extraordinary event or outcome. And that's why they will be the hero of their story because you're letting them shine. After all, they're permitting you, for lack of a better word, to let you do what you know how to do. Even though you might think you're not ready. Your clients are ready to believe in you. I need you to believe in yourself so that you can continue to move forward and your clients will see you. You build this foundation of solid clients doing solid work, solid referrals, and solid testimonials, and you build the foundations of letting other people shout your praises.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:14:35]:
But you have to be your hero and recognize that you must be your biggest fan before others can start talking about you. Humans, it's just humans, we naturally focus on potential risk than reward. Naturally, we always think, what's the worst that can happen? Instead of thinking, what is the worst, what's the best thing to happen? We think of what's the worst. What's the worst that can happen? What would they say about me? What if I fail? This negativity means your brain magnifies all that. And then now your mindset is full of, I can't, I can't, I can't, and you'll think about all your shortcomings instead of your strengths. Even if you succeeded in similar situations before, self doubt will convince you that, well, this time is different, This client is different. Are you sure you're able to do what they asked for? You've never done that before. Right? This is why I want you to get rid of this mindset thinking.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:15:35]:
The illusion of perfection. Fear tricks you into believing that you need to be perfect before starting. Again, this illusion of perfection creates that false sense of readiness as something that you can achieve if you want it long enough. Right? That false sense of readiness is something you can achieve if you wait long enough. But readiness isn't about having everything figured out. It's about being willing to take action and learn as you go. Comparison fuels the fire, my friends. When you compare yourself to others, others tell you what you should be doing and how you should be doing it, especially those further along in their journey. Your brain will focus on the gap between where you are and where they are.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:16:18]:
This reinforces that belief that, well, you're not ready. How are you ever going to get there? You're never going to get there. You're not ready. You must do all these things right now to be where they are. And again, I will ask you, do you want to be where they are? I want you to surround yourself. You've heard me say it before. I want you to surround yourself with people who are doing what you want to be doing, but you don't have to do it just like them. Follow their stumbles, ask about their stumbles, and ask them to share the hard part of how they got there.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:16:48]:
What's the challenging journey? Let them tell you the gruesome stories. Let them tell you about the sleepless nights. Let them tell you about the negative bank accounts. Let them tell you about sleeping in a car. Let them tell you about back taxes. Let them tell you about all those things and then do it differently. You don't have to do exactly what somebody else is doing or take the exact path to do what somebody is doing with where they are. This is your story.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:17:13]:
Their story is their story. This is your story, and this is your journey. So I want you to surround yourself with those people but don't compare your story and their journey with yours. If you start believing you'll never get there, follow the 9 squares, or follow on LinkedIn and see all the success somebody's having. You don't know the story behind those 9 squares. You don't know what's going on. So, if you keep reinforcing this belief that I'm never going to be that person, I will never have that kind of career. I will never have that kind of life, even though everyone starts somewhere and grows through experience.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:17:52]:
I want you to use what they're doing. Those, and here again, if materials are important to you, possessions are important to you, and you go to a big client meeting, and they live in a multimillion-dollar house, I don't want you to think I'm never going to get there. I want you to use this $1,000,000 house as motivation to get that. If that's what you're looking for. If they come to a meeting with you in a big fancy car, not that you can't get that car, but how do you, what do you need to do? What actions do you need to take to have that car? Use it as motivation. The things that you want, I want you to go after. Permit yourself to put yourself first and to go after what you want, not what others think you deserve, right? So, I want you to break this cycle. I want you to name the fear.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:18:45]:
I want you to acknowledge your thoughts and feelings of self-doubt without judgment. Often, simply naming your fear will help diminish it and its power. So I want you to do this: challenge the thought. Ask yourself, is this fear based on facts or assumptions? Is this fear based on facts or assumptions? If saying no to something because you're not ready, is it based on fear or facts of the assumption that you would fail? I want you to practice that challenge. Ask yourself if the decision not to do something is based on fear, facts, or assumptions. Reflect on your past experiences when you overcame challenges to fight despite feeling unprepared. Because I bet you have them. You might've just forgotten about them.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:19:36]:
And how did you overcome them? Right? Take the small steps. Fear hates actions and friends. Each small step takes you to build confidence. Every small step, every step forward to the right, to the left, even the ones that you go backward, will move you towards your definition of success. And it builds confidence and proves you're capable even when uncertain. Strategies to embrace opportunities without feeling ready. I want you to keep having that beginner's mindset. Understand that it's okay not to have all the answers.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:20:16]:
Not having all the answers doesn't mean that you're unprepared or not ready. It means you're human. Remember when we got on our bikes and rode our bikes? We didn't know how to do it. We just got on the bikes, pedaled, fell, and scraped our knees, but we started doing it more often. As we get older and we become responsible adults, we think that we can't do something. We start saying we can't do something. What if we remember every action we want to take or every opportunity in front of us as if we were riding a bike? I have to get on and start pedaling.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:20:49]:
If I fall off, I keep going. We learn the skill of riding a bike. We can learn the skill of becoming confident, shifting our mindset, and believing in ourselves. Right? Not having all the answers doesn't mean you're unprepared. Growth and success, by your definition, will come from stepping into opportunities with curiosity and a willingness to learn, not from knowing everything at the beginning. When you embrace the idea that it's okay to figure things out as you go, you free yourself from the presence of trying to be perfect and that pressure of trying to be perfect. And then you're going to find that you can open some doors to your activity, some problem-solving, and unexpected possibilities. Remember, even the most successful people started without all the answers.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:21:40]:
They learned by doing. Allow yourself the same grace to grow. Now, fake it till you make it? I'm not necessarily a fan of that because I believe you're faking it. When you have skills, put them to use. They may not be as advanced skills as you think, but I guarantee you they're the tools you need for that client. And when you're talking to that client and something comes up, I haven't done that before, but I'm excited to have the opportunity and have already started thinking positive things that you can do to do that. Just because you say to a client, I've never done that before, does not mean you don't know how to do it. It just means that you haven't had the opportunity to do it.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:22:25]:
This is how you start believing in yourself. So, I'm not a big fan of the fake it until you make it concept. But I believe that you can make it with the tools that you have. Confidence is one of them. Start believing that you're exactly where you're supposed to be and this client needs your talents. Sometimes, the question is, does this client match my values? Does this client offer me growth? Does this client only bring us money? And you may be at a time in your life when you need this client to pay some bills. Will this client pay the bills, and will will you still find purpose and align with your values and mission? And will you grow from it? These are all things that you have to decide. These are choices that you can make.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:23:10]:
Not ready, not if you're ready to make these choices, right? But the choices are presented in front of you. Be ready. You're ready to make them because ready is just a feeling. You're going to step into the opportunities that a client is coming up with you. So, I want you to commit to learning one new skill or related piece of knowledge once a month. Just continue to learn and grow. Continue to stretch what you know how to do. Be ready for that next level.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:23:41]:
If you stay ready, you don't have to get ready. Be ready. It's that feeling. Ready is a feeling. There's no need to hone in on I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. You're there. Ready is just a feeling. So, continue to grow and continue to learn. Use the stretch zone strategy, as I like to say.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:24:02]:
Identify an opportunity outside your comfort zone that you can still achieve. Say something that feels 70% doable and 30% challenging. That's the 70-30 rule. I want you to think of something 70% doable but 30% difficult, and I want you to go and do it. When you step in the opportunity to feel primarily within your gap, and you think I can see them, I can reach them, I can go for them, but they're just outside your comfort zone, you'll create that balance for growth. You'll have that chance to challenge and stretch yourself. The 7% doable gives you the confidence that you can handle it, while the 30% pushes your confidence and pushes you to develop a new skill and tap into a potential that you might not know was already within you. That sweet spot keeps you moving forward without overwhelming you, allowing progress and momentum to build.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:25:00]:
So this week, find one thing that feels a little scary, but that's exciting. And then say yes. Because, again, growth happens outside your comfort zone. Remember, find your why. Focus on the impact you create rather than your perceived lack of readiness. Focus on the impact. Focus on the impact you create rather than that perceived lack of readiness. Focus on the impact you can make, whether you're ready or not. That's just a feeling.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:25:41]:
Talk to maybe go back and revisit your why statement about why an opportunity aligns with your goals of purpose. And sometimes, friends, you can have a why statement for every job. What's the why behind this client? What's the why behind taking this job? What's the why behind saying yes? You have a way over your whole mission and why over your business and why you do what you do. But maybe we should talk about it, and you should experience and rethink every job you say yes to. What is the why behind every opportunity you say yes to? Right? Write a statement about the opportunity that still aligns with your goals or purpose. Just enough. Prepare just enough. Then, I want you to take action.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:26:29]:
Take the smallest actual step to get started. It might be sending an email. It might be signing up for a project. It might be following up with a colleague. Say yes to something you initially said no to because you weren't ready. Take the small steps to now go after that. Take the small steps every time an opportunity is presented to you. I want you to take action.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:26:58]:
Identify the first action you think of and then commit to doing it. So if somebody asks you about booking an event, going on a speaking thing, or trying something new, you say, no, I'm not ready. I want you to stop. I want you to go back, and I want you to send an email, pick up the phone call, and find out more information. Because you're ready, take those steps. If you're waiting for a sign, friends, I hope this is for you. I know this is a little bit longer episode, but I hope that this is a sign for you.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:27:32]:
You don't need to feel fully ready to take the next step. The truth is that writing this is a byproduct of action, not the prerequisite. When you stop talking yourself out of opportunities and start showing up imperfectly and authentically, that's when you'll see growth. That's when you dive into your potential and use it to make an impact. So today, I challenge you to say yes to the one thing holding you back and trust that you'll figure it out as you go. Ready or not, my friends, you can do fabbo things. All right? Show notes, jump down, and sign up for the Be Fabbo newsletter. Until next time, my friends.

Bobbi Brinkman [00:28:12]:
You're fabbo just the way you are doing exactly what you're doing. Thank you for showing up for me. Thank you for sharing your space with me.